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Isolation has never looked as cozy on anyone’s body

As it does on hers.

Why, she wears it like a permanent scar!

With a bogus life pasted on public screens,

Humor on her fingertips

And photographs displayed like pretty postcards.

She’s made of 14 shades of lies

Underneath which hides

A mosaic of heinous secrets and failures.

She’s made of the kind of courage and confidence

Found at the bottom of a vodka bottle,

As fleeting as a snowflake on a summer’s day.

If only walls could speak

They’d laugh at her wretchedness behind closed doors,

Grappling with wave after wave of hysteria,

And nicotine stained lips devouring shots like excuses

Just because she cannot stand her sober self.

They’d mock her for the scanty sleep she steals

Off melatonin doses and counting sheep,

Only to be woken up by her wounds and the skeletons on her bed

That she refuses to bury.

What a shame!

To crawl behind the mask of isolation,

Blaming her paranoia on the people who abandoned her

When it was she who nurtured this demon.

It was she who built this fortress for herself

That resonates with the sound of silver wind chimes

And glows like the Rockefeller tree

But still remains as cold as the devil’s lair.

What a shame!

To blame the world for not being able to find her

When it was she who set all her bridges afire.

To blame the world for not listening

When her voice can’t even make it past her throat.

It was she who taught herself the art

Of drowning her emotions on deaf papers

Till she could no longer remember the art of speaking.

It was she who crafted the armour round her bosom

Out of all the knives stuck in her back.

But who prepares for a battle that has long been fought and lost?

Truly, there is nothing the world can do

For a mad girl who never came back from a war.

No cure under the sky

For a mad girl with an ocean of shipwrecks

Flowing under her skin.

And no amount of isolation or sedatives or saving,

Nothing but her own two feet

And a whole lot of letting go

Can ever bring her home.

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8 thoughts on “The Girl Who Lost Her Way Home.

  1. This is sooo heart-wrenching 😦

    Especially this part:

    “To blame the world for not being able to find her
    When it was she who set all her bridges afire.”

    Damn

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